Month: September 2016

Fat People Are Racist

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We’ve got a problem with fat people in America. Specifically, the fact that fat people are the most racist group in the country. Now, there’s nothing inherently wrong with fatness. I know plenty of healthy, well-adjusted fat people. So for the…

Planned Parenthood is Sexist

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Liberals seem to hold the belief that conservatives simply hate women. While this might be true, their evidence is always shoddy at best. Usually they cite Republicans’ attempts to defund Planned Parenthood as proof, but that’s not really a great example.…

Hillary Is In Bed With Pepe

Just when you thought this election couldn’t get any better, Hillary Clinton proves that meme magic is real. Her campaign’s official website has posted an article denouncing the notorious white supremacist icon Pepe the Frog. This election is over, folks,…

Hillary’s Faking It.

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It’s a new week, and that means a new round of bullshit from the Clinton campaign. On Sunday, Hillary made headlines when video surfaced of her staging a pneumonia-induced loss of consciousness at a 9/11 memorial. While many conservatives are…

Introducing the EpiPhone 7

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Recently, EpiPen manufacturer Mylan has been making headlines for their courageous decision to raise the price of the epinephrine autoinjectors from ~$30 to over $600. I haven’t been following this news much, because I’m a healthy adult with no allergies…

Poll: 44% of Likely Voters Are Sheep

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Democracy is failing, and it continues to show every time we let people voice their opinions. Last week, MSNBC announced in an alleged “poll” that 44% of voters think Donald Trump is “racist”. This is an unsurprising revelation from the…

Save the American Penny

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When George Washington descended Mt. Vernon with the Ten Amendments chiseled into his wooden teeth, he had one thing in mind: the penny. It’s the least valuable currency piece that’s single-handedly responsible for bringing the most good luck all day.…