A Federal Crackdown On Weed Is Exactly What Legalization Efforts Need Right Now

This week, Sean Spicer said he expects the Justice Department to crack down on legal marijuana, and stoners everywhere cried a collective “Dude, what?” What most of them are too high to realize, however, is that this is exactly what will bring them their Ark of the Covenant: federally legal weed.

“Dude, what?”

As more states have taken legalization into their own hands, efforts to de-schedule marijuana on a federal level have completely stagnated. This is because the laws haven’t been enforced, so why bother changing them? Everything was great how it was right?

Unsurprisingly, you are wrong.

Federal restrictions on marijuana have completely stunted the industry. Dispensaries are forced to store cash on-premises because they can’t legally open a bank account. Investment into pot startups is almost exclusively speculative. And it’s all because of the conflicting mess of state and federal laws leaving a multi-billion dollar industry hanging in a legal grey zone.

So how does cracking down on states lead to federal legalization?

Eight states have fully legalized marijuana, taking the experimental leap into the promised revenue streams that only an industry like drug dealing could provide. And now, they’re facing that money being taken away. What’s worse, this is coming from their Public Enemy #1: Donald Trump.

While every Congressman is quick to jump on the LARP-train and use words like “resistance” to describe their reaction to the crackdown, few seem to notice that this doesn’t actually accomplish anything. What they should actually do is instead pass some sort of bill that would leave marijuana laws up to states to decide. Unfortunately, no such bill currently exists or has ever existed in Congress.

Oh wait yes it fuckin does

This bill passing would immediately end any “federal crackdown” on legal weed. How do I know? Because Jeff Sessions explicitly said that if Americans don’t want him to enforce the laws, Americans should change them. So, if the representatives want to do what their actual job is and pass a bill instead of acting like pseudo-celebrities grandstanding soapbox ideas that have no bearing on real life, they could provide some of this real change we keep hearing about (and with the added bonus of getting to spite President Trump!)

What you can do: Write and call your Congressmen and encourage them to support HR 975, because their fancy words of rebellion are only worth their weight in bullshit. Or, you can keep falling for the Trump Boogeyman scapegoat they use to maintain their nice jobs on Capitol Hill not showing up to work.

Or don’t, I don’t give a shit I’m going to get high anyway.

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