I have never heard a liberal tell an original joke. I don’t mean that as hyperbole; I mean it literally, in the most literal sense of the word “literally.” Every joke a left-winger has ever told me I have already heard on Reddit, The Daily Show, Twitter, or any of the other liberal hivemind propaganda machines.
No less than 100% of liberals are mind-numbingly unfunny. Not in a “rape isn’t funny” kind of way, where what you really mean is “rape isn’t something to joke about.” More in a “Ghostbusters 2016 isn’t funny” way, meaning that there is a total lack of anything resembling comedic substance at the very core of their personalities.
What makes a liberal so unfunny? The same thing that makes anyone unfunny: they think they actually are funny. True humor doesn’t come from a sense of mocking self-pride or a need to constantly reaffirm your own beliefs; humor comes from a place in your heart that doesn’t care what other people think of you. This is why Trump supporters can tell a good joke.
Take the current round of hilarity being vomited up by liberal Facebook pages: sharing allegedly unflattering pictures of Trump, because “he said he doesn’t like them.”
This is the difference between liberals and conservatives. This liberal “joke” is actually an attack intended to make Trump somehow feel bad. This is different from when Trump supporters say things like “Shillary” or “Libtard” because we don’t say those things to attack those people. We don’t give a shit if they ever hear those words. It’s for us to laugh at them.
By the way, I promise you that Trump has never said anything about a picture making him “look bad.” He is history’s biggest narcissist, do you really think he finds any photo of himself unflattering? You are not sharing these pictures because “Trump said not to”; you’re sharing them because “Occupy Democrats” on Facebook told you to. Because you’re a fucking sheep, dumbass.
The problem is that liberals don’t actually tell jokes. What they think of as a “joke” is, to anyone with a cock bigger than their own ego, mindless opinion-stroking. On the other hand, whenever they hear a conservative tell a real joke they write it off as racist and refuse to laugh. That’s why liberals will never be funny: they refuse to learn how from the people who are.
But just because the phrase “liberal humor” is an oxymoron doesn’t mean we can’t still laugh at their attempts. Much in the same way children failing at simple tasks is hilarious, so is the ridiculous notion of liberal comedy. So, if you are a liberal comedian getting laughs at the Tuesday Open Mic, just know that a good amount of those people probably aren’t laughing with you.